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| We’re all for higher learning, but let’s face it, languishing in the classroom for over 15 years (including college) can be tedious, tiresome, and downright dull. Few things are worse than dragging yourself out of bed for a lecture and quiz on the Civil War, Algebra, or some overrated literary classic (cough, Jane Eyre, cough). At least there’s coffee. Making matters worse for our youngsters is that they’re woefully ignorant of the painful fact that life only gets worse after graduation. | Forget hitting the snooze button before Philosophy 101. Instead, why not leap out of bed and take advantage of your God-given right to rock the F*ck out?! It’s true. Every now and again, we all NEED to play hooky from the College of Knowledge and enroll in the School of Rock! Drop those book bags, let the Yellow Bus whiz right on by, and prepare to Get the Led Out. Break out the Guns N’ Roses cassettes, because it’s time to strap on your air guitar and get strumming. | |||
| Groggy mornings are of course only the beginning for our poor students. It doesn’t stop there, what with all those dreaded homework assignments doled out like academic candy. “Read the next 50 pages in your history book” or “Write ten pages in summary of the relevance of Plato’s Apology to our modern world.” Students today are more likely to digest 10/50 pages and wake up hours later face down in a pool of drool. And when it comes to crafting a term paper, you’re more likely to encounter a page or two of substantive thought followed by video-game distracted and nonsensical drivel. These days, especially in light of the pressure to “take the right classes, get the right grades, and get into the best schools,” it seems like time outside of school can be just as much of a bummer as being in class.
It’s not that we hate education. Surely winning the 3rd Grade spelling bee is a precursor to great things. Even successful and wealthy people like 50 Cent (jewelry making) and Sarah Palin (biology) must have excelled in their classes back in the day, right? Surely our doctors, lawyers, astronauts, and politicians dedicated themselves to navigating the educational gauntlet. Even a degree in the Custodial Arts can lead to great things. Education is the portal to achievement, no doubt, we’re just saying that the journey can, at times, be somewhat devoid of the fun quotient. Basically, what we need, and furthermore, what we demand, is a damn break. We need a way to keep our sanity, despite the repetition and monotony. Something to keep ourselves fresh. Something to get us excited. Something to make sure we don’t lose focus. Oh yeah, we’ve got something in mind, all right. |
Now we’re not promoting truancy here. We’ll grant you detractors out there that it’s important to keep your eye on the prize. School may be essential, but isn’t there room to enjoy the finer things in life too? Shouldn’t rocking out to 80’s glam rock be required to move on and pass GO in the game of life? The Jews may have the Bracha (blessing), but there’s a ROCKA in all of us!
Heck, even Tom Cruise knew how to let loose and get down. All YOU need are some knock off Ray Bans, a sweet pink button down, boxers, and tube socks. Just make sure your floors are well-sanded, as splinters really suck. Seriously people, never underestimate the value of taking a time out in order to shred a totally face-melting guitar solo. At a minimum, students old enough to drive to school should consider blasting some Pearl Jam while doing a few hundred donuts in the parking lot before first period. Mom’s station wagon will never again seem lame after the hottest girl in your grade goes weak in the knees from your Tokyo Drift-like exploits. What’s that you say, you’re already out of school and too old to rock out? NONSENSE! Why not change a kid’s life forever and bring him/her to his first concert? Maybe going to class is never going to be just like that “Hot for Teacher” video, so it’s up to all of us to take the initiative and keep rockin’ in the free world. We say, if you’re feeling hungry for rock, then Welcome to the Jungle, baby. Day-to-day stress over that pesky isosceles triangle got ya’ down? Then take a breath, and ask yourself, Have I air-guitared today?” Shred away, my friends, shred away. |
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Tags: air guitar, Education, Guns N' Roses, metal, rock, School
